Are you looking for funny Bible verses? Congratulation! You’re in the right place. In this article, we’ll share 200+ funny Bible verses for you. Our holy Bible is not only a historical document but also an unexpectedly humorous book. I’m sure you never see the Bible from this point of view. If you love these funny Bible verses, feel free to share them with your friends on social media.
Short funny bible verses
The Bible: a historical document, a pillar of faith, and unexpectedly humorous? It may surprise you to learn that the Bible is full of humorous and soul-nourishing moments. Here are some funny bible verses shared with you.
Judges 15:15 CEV
“Samson found the jawbone of a donkey that had recently died. He picked it up and killed a thousand Philistines with it.”
Exodus 32:24 NIV
“So I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!”
Ezekiel 23:20 NIV
“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
2 Kings 9:20 NIV
“The lookout reported, ‘He has reached them, but he isn’t coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi—he drives like a maniac.'”
1 Kings 18:27 ESV
“And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, ‘Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.'”
Proverbs 30:2 NIV
“I am too stupid to be human.”
Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV
“A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it.”
Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NLT
“If two Israelite men get into a fight and the wife of one tries to rescue her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man, you must cut off her hand. Show her no pity.”
Genesis 19:32 CEV
“Let’s get our father drunk! Then we can sleep with him.”
Isaiah 44:16 NIV
“Half of the wood he burns in the fire; over it he prepares his meal, he roasts his meat and eats his fill. He also warms himself and says, ‘Ah! I am warm; I see the fire.’
Ecclesiastes 10:19 NIV
“A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.”
2 Kings 2:23 NIV
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’ they said. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’
Acts 2:15 NKJV
“For these are not drunk, as you suppose, since it is only the third hour of the day.”
Proverbs 17:17 ESV
“A brother is born for adversity.”
Proverbs 25:17 NIV
“Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house– too much of you, and they will hate you.”
Proverbs 31:6 NIV
“Give beer to those who are perishing.”
Job 19:17 NIV
“My breath is offensive to my wife.”
Job 13:5 NIV
“If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.”
Proverbs 27:14 NIV
“If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.”
Proverbs 23:2 AMP
“Put a knife to your throat if you are a man of great appetite.”
Proverbs 20:6 KJV
“A faithful man who can find?”
Job 27:5 NIV
“I will never admit you are in the right.”
Isaiah 14:8 KJV
“No feller is come up against us.”
Job 16:3 NIV
“Will your long-winded speeches never end? What ails you that you keep on arguing?”
1 Corinthians 7:28 NIV
“Those who marry will face many troubles in this life.”
Galatians 2:11 NIV
“I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong.”
1 Samuel 24:3 KJV
“And he came to the sheepcotes by the way, where was a cave; and Saul went in to cover his feet.”
Nehemiah 6:8 NIV
“Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.”
Matthew 5:29 GNT
“So if your right eye causes you to sin, take it out and throw it away!”
Funny Bible verses about poop
Bread is made for laughter, and wine gladdens life, and money answers everything. Now friends enjoy some more humorous, sarcastic and funny bible verses.
Exodus 20:26
“And you shall not go up by steps to my altar, that your nakedness be not exposed on it.”
2 Kings 2:23
“He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, ‘Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!’
Ezekiel 23:20
“Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.”
Ezekiel 16:17
“You also took your beautiful jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself images of men, and with them played the whore.”
1 Samuel 18:27
“David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.”
Isaiah 20:2
“At that time the Lord spoke by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, ‘Go, and loose the sackcloth from your waist and take off your sandals from your feet,’ and he did so, walking naked and barefoot.”
Genesis 38:9
“But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother.”
Deuteronomy 23:1
“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.”
1 Samuel 21:13
“So he changed his behavior before them and pretended to be insane in their hands and made marks on the doors of the gate and let his spittle run down his beard.”
2 Samuel 6:20
“And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul, came out to meet David and said, ‘How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ female servants, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!'”
Proverbs 12:4
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”
Proverbs 21:19
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Proverbs 25:24
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 26:13
“A sluggard says, ‘There’s a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!'”
Proverbs 27:14
“If anyone loudly blesses their neighbour early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.”
Proverbs 30:15-16
“The leech has two daughters. ‘Give! Give!’ they cry. There are three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, ‘Enough!’: the grave, the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire, which never says, ‘Enough!'”
Read More:
130 Bible verse for mens: Strength and Guidance
Funny Bible verses about love
When it comes to love, the Bible is full of wisdom, compassion, and… some unexpected moments of humor! Yep, love in the Bible isn’t always serious business—it has its share of funny, quirky, and “wait, what?” moments that make you smile. Whether it’s wise words about relationships or a lighthearted jab at the ups and downs of love, the Bible’s got it covered. So, if you’re in the mood for some divine love advice with a side of laughter, here are some funny Bible verses about love!
Proverbs 21:9
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 17:22
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Proverbs 11:22
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2
“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.”
Genesis 2:18
“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Matthew 22:39
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”
Proverbs 18:22
“A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
Ephesians 5:22
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.”
Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Proverbs 3:3
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”
Proverbs 17:1
“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Proverbs 31:11
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”
Proverbs 10:12
“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
Proverbs 14:1
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.”
Proverbs 27:15
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.”
Romans 13:8
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another.”
Proverbs 22:11
“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for a friend.”
Proverbs 24:26
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
Funny Bible jokes
Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. Now enjoy some more funny bible verses like these.
Genesis 27:36
“Esau said, ‘Isn’t he rightly named Jacob? This is the second time he has taken advantage of me: He took my birthright, and now he’s taken my blessing!’ Then he asked, ‘Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me?’”
Judges 15:16
“Then Samson said, ‘With a donkey’s jawbone I have made donkeys of them. With a donkey’s jawbone I have killed a thousand men.’”
Job 3:3
“‘May the day of my birth perish, and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’”
Job 30:1
“‘But now they mock me, men younger than I, whose fathers I would have disdained to put with my sheep dogs.’”
Isaiah 5:7
“The vineyard of the Lord Almighty is the nation of Israel, and the people of Judah are the vines he delighted in. And he looked for justice, but saw bloodshed; for righteousness, but heard cries of distress.”
Judges 7:12
“The Midianites, the Amalekites and all the other eastern peoples had settled in the valley, thick as locusts. Their camels could no more be counted than the sand on the seashore.”
1 Samuel 25:37
“Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone.”
Job 6:3
“It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas—no wonder my words have been impetuous. I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.”
Isaiah 49:18
“Lift up your eyes and look around; all your children gather and come to you. As surely as I live, declares the Lord, you will wear them all as ornaments; you will put them on, like a bride.”
Jeremiah 9:1
“Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.”
Job 29:6
“When my path was drenched with cream and the rock poured out for me streams of olive oil.”
Psalm 119:25
“I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word.”
Psalm 119:83
“Though I am like a wineskin in the smoke, I do not forget your decrees.”
Proverbs 23:29-30
“Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine.”
Proverbs 27:15
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.”
Isaiah 5:8
“Woe to you who add house to house and join field to field till no space is left and you live alone in the land.”
Inspirational funny Bible quotes
Friends! We have already enjoyed many funny bible verses. Here is my favorite one: “Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool.” I have shared some more like this to inspire you.
1 Kings 18:27
“At noon Elijah began to taunt them. ‘Shout louder!’ he said. ‘Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.'”
Deuteronomy 23:1
“If a man’s testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the Lord.”
Job 12:2
“Doubtless you are the only people who matter, and wisdom will die with you!”
Proverbs 25:20
“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.”
Proverbs 26:3
“A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!”
Proverbs 27:8
“Like a bird that flees its nest is anyone who flees from home.”
Proverbs 27:15-16
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.”
Job 11:12
“But the witless can no more become wise than a wild donkey’s colt can be born human.”
Proverbs 23:35
“‘They hit me,’ you will say, ‘but I’m not hurt! They beat me, but I don’t feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?'”
Proverbs 27:19
“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”
Funny Bible verses taken out of context
From the Galatians you may read, I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated! Want more? funny bible verses for your next social media post. If you are looking for something funny, then this collection is for you.
Judges 7:5 CSB
“Separate everyone who laps water with his tongue like a dog. Do the same with everyone who kneels to drink.”
Acts 2:15 CSB
“For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it’s only nine in the morning.”
Proverbs 21:19 NIV
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Proverbs 21:9 NIV
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 11:22 NIV
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
Proverbs 27:15 NIV
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.”
Genesis 22:21 NIV
“Uz the firstborn, Buz his brother, Kemuel (the father of Aram).”
2 Kings 9:20 NIV
“The lookout reported, ‘He has reached them, but he isn’t coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi—he drives like a maniac.’”
Song of Songs 7:4 NIV
“Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.”
2 Kings 2:23 NIV
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’ they said. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’”
Funny bible verses meme
Hello meme lovers. Thanks for staying with us. Now enjoy some favorite funny bible verses which you can use as meme.
Song of Solomon 4:2 ESV
“Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing.”
Job 10:10 CSB
“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese?”
Exodus 32:24 NIV
“So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!”
Psalm 137:9 HCSB
“Happy is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks.”
1 Samuel 28:7 NLT
“Saul then said to his advisers, ‘Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.’”
Ezekiel 4:12 NIV
“You will eat it as you would a barley cake and bake it over dried human excrement in their sight.”
Ezekiel 4:15 NIV
“He replied to me, ‘Look, I will let you use cow dung instead of human excrement, and you can make your bread over that.’”
Isaiah 36:12 NIV
“But the commander replied, ‘Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?’”
Proverbs 31:6 HCSB
“Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter.”
Mark 9:34 NIV
“But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.”
Mark 14:52 NIV
“He fled naked, leaving his garment behind.”
Funny Bible verses Reddit
Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife. These are not my words. These humorous funny bible verses came from the Holy Bible. Enjoy some more like this:
Song of Solomon 7:2 NASB
“Your navel is like a round goblet Which never lacks mixed wine; Your belly is like a heap of wheat Fenced about with lilies.”
Joshua 13:1 NASB
“Now Joshua was old and advanced in years when the LORD said to him, ‘You are old and advanced in years…'”
Acts 20:9 NASB
“And there was a young man named Eutychus sitting on the window sill, sinking into a deep sleep; and as Paul kept on talking, he was overcome by sleep and fell down from the third floor and was picked up dead.”
Proverbs 27:14 NASB
“He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him.”
Proverbs 27:15-16 NLT
“15 A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. 16 Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.”
Mark 14:51-52 NLT
“50 Then all His disciples deserted him and ran away. 51 One young man following behind was clothed only in a long linen shirt. When the mob tried to grab him, 52 he slipped out of his shirt and ran away naked.”
Ezekiel 4:12 NLT
“Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. While all of the people are watching, bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread.”
2 Kings 2:23 NLT
“Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. ‘Go away, baldy!’ they chanted. ‘Go away, baldy!'”
Song of Solomon 4:1 NASB
“How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are!… Your hair is like a flock of goats that have descended from Mount Gilead.”
Proverbs 11:22 NASB
“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks taste.”
Genesis 25:29-30 NASB
“29 When Jacob had cooked stew, Esau came in from the field and he was weary, 30 and Esau said to Jacob, ‘Please let me have a swallow of that red stuff there, for I am famished.'”
Song of Solomon 4:2 NLT
“Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin.”
Job 10:10 NKJV
“Did You not pour me out like milk, And curdle me like cheese?”
Exodus 32:24 NASB
“I said to them, ‘Whoever has any gold let them tear it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”
1 Samuel 6:4 KJV
“…What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden emerods[hemorrhoids], and five golden mice…”
To Wrap Up!
That’s all for today’s article on funny bible verses. This was not written to make fun of or to belittle God’s Word in any form or fashion, but rather to show that the Bible is filled with interesting and exciting things…and yes, even funny things. However, even with the verses that we might find to be humorous, always remember that the Bible is more than just a book; it is the Living Word of God and, as such, should be given respect and honor. I pray that this will strengthen your desire to make the Word of God a part of your daily life and that you be uplifted and encouraged by the words of Scripture.
FAQs on funny bible verses
Are there any funny Bible verses?
Yes! In the Bible there are many funny humorous funny Bible verses. In this article we have shared a lot of funny Bible verses.
What are the most funny Bible verses?
There’s a lot of funny Bible verse. From my personal point of view it is ‘Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.’ from Proverbs 21: 19 NIV.
How to find some funny Bible verses?
Don’t waste time here and there to find funny Bible verses. In this article we have shared a ton of funny Bible verses.
When do you need funny Bible verses?
Actually the religion is not as strict as we take it. These funny Bible verses you can use any moment any time anywhere.
Who uses funny Bible verses?
The direct answer to the question is complicated. Anyone from any age group can use these funny Bible verses. But mainly young people enjoy most of these verses.
What are the funny Bible verses for Instagram?
There are many Bible verses shared in this article that can be used as Instagram stories or posts.
